Eating Plan: A Necessary Evil?

I started an eating plan a couple of days ago, and I feel very weird about it.

See, I have often argued against the need for diets or eating plans. They aren’t sustainable and it’s not great for your body to be so restrictive. And as we all know, the weight just bounces back after the diet has ended. After several times as a teenager that as a family we didn’t have any food for meals, sometimes for days at a time, not having available food is a bit of an issue for me. That gnawing feeling of hunger that you just try to ignore, especially as you attempt to fall asleep? No thank you!

So here lies my dilemma, the emotional weirdness. For the last several years I have no followed a diet or eating plan. I have followed the intuitive eating way, plus coupled with my naturopathy study and I figured that I had a pretty good handle on the whole eating healthy thing. I am here to tell you my friend, that is not the case.

My weight has exploded. My ability to do the sports that I enjoyed and loved has decreased, I have completely stopped them. I no longer have the strength to pull myself up aerial silks, despite the fact that I’m going to the gym 2-4 times a week. Things that I loved about myself are going, even down to the clothes I wear. I no longer fit most of my clothes, I can no longer find clothes to fit in most stores and even going to an op shop, they don’t even have a rack for my size!

(Which is a different post, but seriously. Are you telling me that no one above a size 14 has donated clothing? I am highly suspicious…)

That doesn’t mean that I don’t love my body as it is. I mean, curves anyone? You should see my booty! (I have it on very good authority that it’s fabulous 😉 ) But it’s because I love my body that I need to regulate what I eat. I’m not giving it enough nutrients. I’m not giving it enough energy or support to function properly. My body is amazing at what it can do, especially considering that I have not been giving it the building blocks to do what it needs to!

I want to feel fit and capable again. I will probably never fit into my small clothes again, and that’s okay. Needing to buy pretty new bras because I’m spilling out of mine, also okay. But not feeling like I can move my body, feeling stuck walking when I want to run and do cartwheels and climb silks or even climb stairs without puffing. And my knee hurts, all. the. freaking. time!!! Even just standing up from the couch. God, I feel old. And I’m only 31. Send help.

So I’m on an eating plan for the next 12 weeks. I don’t feel like I’m very good at making the right food choices for my body and that I need some help. It’s bringing up a few issues around food that I have which I need to work through (thankyou childhood food trauma. You have been great, but here’s the door). My goals are: I want to have more energy, and fit back into the pair of very cute jeans that I bought last year and only wore once before they got too tight.

What are your thoughts on eating plans? Yes, no, they have a purpose but not forever? Please let me know, I’d love to talk about it!